1.28.2007

on mixing business and pleasure

A problem I've had in past relationships is that graphic design (my chosen profession) means more to me than most relationships. According to my philosophy for life, it should and there is nothing wrong with that. Who I am (as in the components that make me, me) comes first and only after that is satisfied and complete can I be of any worth to someone else.

I don't believe in compromise. Sometimes it is necessary, but most of the time compromise is something that other people want you to do because they want to break your will -- which is to say, they want to be right and they want you to be wrong.

Graphic design is a logic-based, concrete profession. There is such a thing as good design and bad design, there are attributes for each and documented ways of telling the difference between the two. In every company that I have worked for, they have asked for bad design. In instances where I rebelled against this, I was labeled as being difficult or impractical. I accepted these labels and bestowed the quality of "art" upon the graphic design I wanted to do. But that is bullshit. Graphic design is the functional, visual manifestation of a concept. Anyone who tells you that it is something different is not only wrong, they are also a shitty graphic designer.

I would go so far as to say that many of the companies I worked for were wrong in claiming to offer professional graphic design services. They were amateurish at best. They held no respect for the medium, its purpose, its practitioners or its noble and innovative past. The graphic designers of today are cannibals and weaklings who rape their past. Art schools are where they are taught to enjoy the flesh of their own.

I intend to write a book on my beliefs as a working graphic artist. I would like to call it: Shut the Fuck Up and Get Out of My Way.

Perhaps this is why I have such difficulty dating other graphic designers and college students when I myself am a self-educated college drop-out. I don't grant any kind of respect until it is earned and my ability to grant respect to a fellow professional is based on very high standards.

1.27.2007

quitting time

I just quit another job.

Another set of standard operating procedures falls to the wayside. Another group of coworkers shifts to the back of my memory. I make another vow to never work for an hourly wage again.

I just left during my shift. I left a note for the publisher explaining what I had done that day so he would know what of my assignments still had to be finished. I don't usually like to leave a business relationship in this manner, but I was feeling burned out and tired and that gut-punk-feeling in my heart was kicking. So I just said "fuck it."

Talking to someone about leaving the job or giving a notice is something you do out of respect. As a graphic designer, I don't feel like my position was given the respect it deserved. Granted, I believe whole-heartedly that as a graphic artist it is my responsibility to demand and earn that respect; but I reserve that kind of battle for long-term business relationships. No sense rocking (heh, more like cap-sizing) the boat if I intend to leave in two months anyway. I didn't feel like I got respect, so I didn't give respect. A part-time employee being stretched to full-time work on part-time hours and crap pay doesn't need to give much respect.

In a sense, I feel like explaining myself completely would involve tearing the company apart verbally. No matter what I say, their only recourse is to pick up a shit designer or production person and give them the same crap wage (or possibly even lower).

I won them over when they saw the quality of my design that I would occasionally unleash out of boredom. I'd say I was working at 20% of my potential at any given time and even at this level, I was blowing my predecessors out of the water.

The important thing is, I'm done. I have too many companies to deal with right now to worry about a part time job. The stress was both overwhelming and unnecessary.